Jim's Story

I first met Carey when I was serving time at Rolleston Prison, another lag to add to the list of time spent away from society. There had been many. An officer set up the interview with Pathway Reintegration as he felt I could benefit from being involved with Pathway. Through lack of communication or my own cynicism I thought Carey was a detective and asked if I could have a lawyer. Carey went on to explain what was involved in the Sycamore Tree Programme and although sceptical, I signed up.

The Sycamore Tree Programme was really worthwhile; it doesn’t get enough credit for how it changes your mind and your attitude towards crime. I was blown away when one of the community participants described how powerless she felt following the wrong doing that she suffered.

During that time I also came to the realisation that my daughter had been hiding something from me. She was deeply depressed and on some heavy medication for it. It dawned on me that because of my criminal behaviour someone that I love and care for was doing it hard too.

Working again for the first time in a long time was really physically hard. I had been on the dole for 15 years. I had become so accustomed to being on the dole that I had forgotten what it was like to work. My whole family was on the dole and there was a terrible self-loathing that came from not being a functioning member of society. That first week at Oak Tree Labour Hire I was absolutely knackered but I had to keep telling myself to just stick at it. I weighed 161kg and although I didn’t admit it at the time, I was really unhealthy. I would make mistakes and I wasn’t managing my anger well. I spent the first few months swearing a lot and flying off the handle, it was a bit of a wakeup call. One day I woke up and thought “this is what you’re really like brother, you need to change”. I made a conscious effort to calm down and I also made small changes to what I was eating. I now weigh 125kg, have more energy and feel a lot happier. My family are amazed that I am working full time. It has given me a sense of worth and a feeling of pride I had not known before.

The flat also provided by Pathway, was a safe haven, a place that was good to go home to where it was just me, no family or friends but a place of my own where I could sit and think. I didn’t have much but I had everything I needed and even though it was strange that I had to cook for myself and there was no-one there like at the prison to prepare my meals, it was good for me as it made me look at my diet. I now have a goal to get my driver’s license.

I look forward to the day that my parole conditions will be complete and I will no longer have to check in to probation every week, seeing that come to an end will be like getting my badge of honour. I have to get there first though. There are definitely days where I think, it’s too hard and I’m about to fall over. Getting out of prison meant that I had to reacquaint myself with the world - that was step one. Step two is focusing on what I want to achieve and I often sit when I’m on my own and think about all the things I want. That’s what getting a job was about, it was taking those goals and being able to make them happen, having the finances and the confidence to get there.